DAILY GURU

Sunday 30th Of January 2005

I had no clue about love as I know it today. I always thought that what I felt when I was in love was what I needed to feel. What I see clearly now is that the love I felt was usually attached to someone who made me feel good or was who I wanted them to be. The need to be filled up or to be filling someone else with love was the spark that ignited me

Every relationship that I attracted was exciting until issues came up and I was forced to feel the void within me. The experience then became empty or simply shut down.

Every relationship showed me either my neediness for love and attention or my own lack of love. I expected so much and the other person always felt my disappointment. I went to the brink of despair and felt the void in every aspect of my life. Once I felt it fully, however, and took responsibility for it, I realized that it wasn't someone else's love I needed to look for, it was mine.