Getting Past Gambling: Reflection for the Day

A place to come and share experiences, to find support and strength, for those of us who are putting gambling behind us and finding new exciting and happier ways to live our lives.

" You never achieve real success unless you like what you are doing."
*Dale Carnegie {1888-1955 American Author & Achievement Expert}

Monday, May 19, 2008

Reflection for the Day

I considered myself a "loner" in the days when I was gambling. Although I was often with other people--saw them, heard them, touched them--most of my important dialogues were with my inner self. I was certain that nobody else would ever understand. Considering my former opinion of myself, it's likely that I didn't want anybody to understand. I smiled through gritted teeth even as I was dying on the inside.

Have my insides begun to match my outside since I've been in the Gamblers Anonymous Program?

Today I Pray
May my physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual selves become one, a whole person again. I thank my Higher Power for showing me how to match my outside to my inside, to laugh when I feel like laughing, to cry when I feel sad, to recognize my own anger or fear or guilt. I pray for wholeness.

Today I Will Remember
I am becoming whole.

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ANOTHER CHANCE

Fellow gambler, take my hand;
I'm your friend, I understand.
I've known your guilt, your shame, remorse;
I've borne the burden of your cross.
I found a friend who offered ease;
He suffered, too, with this disease.
Although he had no magic cure,
He showed how we could endure.
We walked together side by side;
We spoke of things we had to hide.
We told of sleepless nights and debts,
Of broken homes and lies and threats.
And so my weary gambler friend,
Please take this hand that I extend.
Take one more chance on something new,
Another gambler helping you.

LETTER FROM THE DEVIL

Well, hello there!
I cannot believe I have really been talked into doing this; telling you about myself (which obviously your clients either don’t know, or won’t accept). I am going to let you know how I operate; what my strategies are, how I win (and I love to win)!
My initial reaction was —
Why should I disclose them? After thinking it over, it came to me that as usual, many people will read this and not consider this information anyway, so what have I got to lose? I mean what the hell, why shouldn’t I divulge this stuff — who’s really gonna pay attention? After all this information has been available for many years and only a few gave a damn about it. Hell many people, even after reading this will still foolishly continue to take me on “their” way (how this makes me chuckle).
A.A./N.A/G.A. people try to tell them things; they won’t accept it. Professional counselors tell them these things; they won’t accept it, but OK . . .you want to hear the truth directly from the horse’s mouth? Read on….............
They teach you I am a disease; (I snicker because many people won’t even accept that!) People fail to strongly impress upon you what kind of disease you are up against. Words like progressive, and insidious have little impact on you so let me tell you what I’m all about.

I AM YOUR DEADLIEST ENEMY!

I make AIDS look minuscule compared with the devastation I have caused and intend to continue to impact on humanity. I conduct my business of mutilation and destruction in a very business-like, highly productive, orderly manner that results in me being extremely successful!
I have an insatiable desire to torture, maim and destroy. I am totally vicious! I am brutal! I have perfected my skills of deception to an art form!
Early on, in the beginning of my attack on you, I can make myself almost invisible. I take you down ever so slowly and skillfully at first because I sure as hell don’t want you to become aware of me. That might frighten you away.
I am the Master of Manipulation!
As my progression becomes more visible, I most emphatically am not going to let your frustration and anger be directed at me. No, no, no! I tell you it’s the job, it’s your spouse, it’s the kids. God forbid you should ever wise-up that it’s ME. So I have you lash out at the only people who really care about you. How I revel as I see you thrashing about throwing powder-puff punches at the world. I continually whisper outright lies in your ear and incredibly, you buy right into them. Remember when I told you:
“THIS TIME IT WILL BE ALL RIGHT!”or“SURE YOU WENT OVERBOARD IN THE PAST, BUT THAT WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN!” and my all-time classic- “YOU CAN DO IT YOUR WAY YOU DON’T NEED ANY HELP!”
Each time I lie to you and you listen to me, I betray you. Look at your track record-SUCKER!
My paramount reason for being on this earth is to make certain you never achieve your full potential or enjoy the things that you deserve.
I see you start project after project, but I keep you from completing them so you rarely ever enjoy a feeling of accomplishment. I keep you chasing two rabbits at the same time and grin as I watch your dreams of tomorrow become unfulfilled promises of yesterday.
With the young — I damage your potential, destroy your initiative. What pleasure I get from stunting your emotional growth, and converting you into a “never-wuz.”
With older people I remove the enjoyment of your autumn years and make you into a “has-been.”
I adore screwing up parents. Instead of you moving forward with your lives, I suck you dry with worry and concern about the fate of your kids. In the face of all logic, reasoning, and just plain common sense, Mr./Mrs. Compulsivity you keep listening to me and your reward for foolishly doing this is that I BETRAY YOU AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN!
Beginning to get the picture, pal?
I’m not exactly what you would call Mr. Nice Guy! I am a high-tech conversationalist! I just love to convert beautiful, sensitive, caring, productive people into self-centered, omnipotent blood sucking leeches who day-by-day drain their loved ones emotionally, physically and financially.
I give you selective hearing; so you hear only what I want you to hear! I give you tunnel vision; so you see what I want you to see! I roundly applaud myself as you begin to stumble through life as I prevent you from hearing and growing.
How you delight me as you continually permit me to twist your thinking! By the way, pal-o-mine, I not only get a big boot out of messing you up, I am without peer when it comes to wrecking everyone who cares about you and whom you care about.
I convince you, of course, that you are only hurting yourself, no one else! As things begin getting a little tackier (that’s called PROGRESSION) and unbelievably you still listen to me, I advance more rapidly within you.
I cheer you on as you make emotional yo-yos out of those who still stand at your side. Of course you mean all- those—wonderful promises you make to them like—“NO MORE, NEVER AGAIN” ETC. I make damn sure you never carry them out by enticing you to have just one card game, drink, one joint, one line, or just make one little old bet.
You better believe I don’t want you wising up to the fact that I am breaking the spirit of the other people in your life; that I am causing them TEN TIMES the amount of pain and sorrow; that I’m dishing out to you.
Under my influence — I, grin when you say things you would not have said, I smile softly as you begin not doing things you should. I chuckle as I witness you doing things you never would have done, and I let out a real belly-laugh as you begin doing unthinkable things that inflict horrible pain on those you love which now cause you even higher levels of guilt, remorse, and shame.
I become ecstatic every time I witness those tears running down the faces of defenseless individuals and children who you are threatening and terrorizing (your very own spouse and kids)! must admit I am thrilled to my toes as I rip the very life out of the people around you. Get a load of this — the target that gives me the greatest satisfaction in destroying are YOUR KIDS!
I am delighted by every opportunity to keep getting them so upset and off balance by what is going on that they do not stand a chance of growing up without being severely scarred. Look at the millions, yes millions of untreated ACOA’s, ACOG’s, I’ve got romping around this country all screwed up!
How I chuckle when you say, “YOU’LL DIE” IF YOU DRINK, BET, OR USE AGAIN! First of all you know damn well you don’t really believe that, (just look at your past track record).
I do not kill people; well, sometimes I do, but when that happens it really ticks me off; obviously I socked it to that person too hard. Hell, when they die, the games are over and I’ve got to find a new SUCKER to take their place. Hey baby, I’d rather keep playing with them; destroy them a little at a time. No, I do my damnedest not to kill you since I want you to live—miserable, wretchedly, horribly!
One way I get my jollies is from being the world’s greatest collector. Didn’t know that, did you pal? Got a warehouse the size of Africa! I happily take things away from you that right-fully belong to you. These are things that you have worked hard for, earned, and deserve.
I laugh all the time, I rob you of them and store them so I can enjoy my thievery when things get a little dull.
See there’s John’s RESPECT over there and Mary’s MORALITY. That’s what’s left of Frank’s HONOR, look at this, what a blast I had ripping away Helen’s INTEGRITY and did I ever have a-ball taking away young Bob’s DIRECTION, bet your backside I was thrilled when I got my hands on Ann’s ENTHUSIASM.
How I savor fondling these trophies from my past and present robberies.
Hey, get a load of all those jobs over there, how sweet it was grabbing them, and how about that pile of previously good marriages? Had a ball destroying them. Down there in that pit is where I keep active people’s SELF -ESTEEM. There’s Don’s FREEDOM (laughed like hell when they put him in the slammer).
This pile of rubble makes me just shiver with ecstasy, don’t you recognize it? It used to be people’s CREDIBILITY.
And here sweetheart, is my most prized stolen possession. Yep, that big steel cage is full of thousands of broken people, what a fantastic sight! All of them stumbling around. Know what I stole from them?
THEMSELVES certainly one of my award winning-traits is to steal away YOU!

http://www.soberrecovery.com

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Monday, May 19, 2008

Reflection for the Day

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